Mixmistress Colleen on networking...and on "networking"

I've never thought of myself as much of a networker, but if things keep up this way, I may have to revise my thinking.

I recently did an interview on the subject of networking with professional speaker Josh Hinds for his Business Networking Advice website.

Now I didn't know Josh from Adam before "meeting" him via email. Josh approached my friend, Becky McCray, with whom I did the Great Big Small Business Show podcast a couple of years ago, and whom I met through my friend (and networker supreme), Chris Brogan, whom I originally heard of when he was interviewed by shameless self-promoter (and Podcasting Princess) Heidi Miller on her podcast, Diary of a Shameless Self-Promoter.

To carry it further, I was at an event earlier this week where I met a 20-year veteran of the real estate business who is shifting into speaking, trying to help other real estate agents navigate the newly horrible waters of their business by using social media tools and showing them there's life outside the headshot business card and advertising bus bench. So I had to hook her up with Josh, right? I mean, the networking and the speaking thing—how could I not?

The interesting thing to me is that it's fun now, just meeting people and seeing where they're going and how I can hook them up with people or resources I know about to help get them there. I remember seeing my dad do this when I was a young woman, just starting out, and thinking, "No WAY could I have a Rolodex like that, and know so many people, and actually be friends with them all."

Well, I'm starting to see that it's not about being BFFs with everyone: it's about enjoying every relationship or chance encounter you're graced with, and passing that enjoyment along. Some people may wind up close friends in the inner circle; most will float in and out of your Dunbar range, depending on what's happening with your life and theirs. All good, really.

Still, just for fun, I'd love to hear about circuitous connections you've made. Got any good stories?

Comments

[Judy Dunn]

Hi Colleen,

This whole networking thing, especially as it relates to the Dunbar theory, fascinates me. Lately, in networking groups I belong to, I've noticed two kinds of people: those who seem to need hundreds of relationships (though many are superficial—just names collected, really); and people who have fewer "connections," but develop deeper relationships. I fall into the latter category.

You asked for a good story. Recently, I met with another professional, someone I met through an online business community I joined. We had been communicating through forum posts. When we finally met, over coffee, we went through our usual "bio" questions. She kept saying, "You look so familiar to me." Finally we figured out that she was in the class across the hall when I was a teacher in a gifted program practically a state away— and her teacher at the time happened to be my best friend!

The lesson? People can come back into your life and change form. So don't cross anyone off your list and be open to all kinds of networking. And, yes, enjoy "every chance encounter you're graced with." Great post, Colleen.

[Colleen Wainwright]

Wow--that *is* a good story, Judy!

I've always been part of that latter group, and I'll probably never be a true "connector" in the Gladwellian sense, as it's just too exhausting to meet that many people.

But I am enjoying the cumulative effect of having met many people over the years--so much so that I'm probably making more of an effort to meet new people now. Interesting how that works.

[Randall Shelton]

To gain a "leg up" in speaking and acquiring new friends >> go here: a great way to knock down three birds with one stone (as they say) is to 1) Cast about and select a good Toastmasters club. 2) Join it and line up with a good mentor. 3) Follow the manual thru the ten exercises ( speech types) and ***participate in the dreaded table topics -(then you may be ready for part two). The acquaintances/ friendships developed there that year can and may last a lifetime. And you have gained a never-to -be lost skill: overcoming whatever reluctance you had at speaking to whatever type or size of group. After my 40 yrs at it I've seen hundreds grow doing just that . The key is: the right club.

[Colleen Wainwright]

You're right, Randall--regular readers know I'm a big proponent of Toastmasters. But I should have mentioned it here.