Anatomy of a Coaching Transaction

I'm not sure if I've ever made this explicitly clear, but I'm still very much a client of Marketing Mentor. Here on the blog, things are pretty egalitarian; off the blog, however, Ilise is boss. (That's what I pay her for!)

I'm also not sure if the random person who stumbles across my ramblings here understands how very much I am still learning the self-promotion ropes. I'm not the genius writer of all time, but I do know enough to edit before hitting "publish," and perhaps in translating I come across as more together than I really am. Because I'm not. Or, to put a finer point on it, I am in some ways and very much not in others.

So when Ilise suggested I share a recent transaction with the class, I thought it might be useful to break it down and make the process more transparent—sort of give folks a peek under the tent, let them see what coaching does (or doesn't, as the case may be).

With that, here's me, warts and all:

1. Back from a four-day conference
2. Needing to follow up with one critical contact
3. Convinced that the contact hated me, my work and everything else about my pathetic and unworthy self.
4. Finally drafting an email that is chatty, charming and completely devoid of request and/or point.

And here's Ilise:

1. Um, where's the request? What do you want this email to do? What's the point, here?

And here's me:

1. Busted!
2. Grudgingly and with heavy heart rewriting email with request and point.
3. Sending email.
4. Planning to kill self and/or go into hiding.

Now, heeeeere's the contact:

1. "Loved meeting you!"
2. "Join me + Important Person for dinner!"
3. "Stay in touch!"

Of course, not every coaching transaction has such a happy ending, but as Ilise said, this one does go a long way towards proving a few points she's constantly trying to make.

Namely:

1. You never know.
2. You never will, unless you try.
3. Trying is hard, but it (probably) won't kill you.

How'd I do, Coach? Did I miss anything? :-)

Comments

[Henriet Schapelhouman]

That's great. Coaching is amazing that way. I use a coach too. I find that she does not tell me totally new stuff I never thought about. Rather, she asks me to think through to the desired end results. It's amazing what happens when an encouraging coach looks over your shoulder. Good for you! Thanks for sharing.

[Ilise Benun]

Thanks, Colleen, for sharing this experience with others.

What fascinates me most (and what I'm always on the lookout as I listen to my clients) is the way we decide -- usually based on nothing that actually happened -- that someone won't be open to us (or will hate us, as you say so honestly here), whether it's a cold call or a follow up, or even an interaction in our personal life.

And what I'm trying to teach is how to be aware of that so that it doesn't get in the way of reaching out to those who are in a position to help us grow our business.

[Colleen Wainwright]

Yeah, I'm definitely my own worst enemy when it comes to stuff like this. A powerful imagination works both ways...

[Ilise Benun]

Found this perfect quote on the youand blog:

"It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen.

-- Herodotus (485 - 425BC) Greek Historian

[José Angel Santana, Ph.D.]

Some wise person once shared this with me about: FEAR . . . False Evidence Appearing Real

And then, there is always what my good friend Epictetus had to say:

"Seek at once, therefore, to be able to say to every unpleasing semblance, “You are but a semblance and by no means the real thing." -- Epictetus 1, "Enchiridion" Translated by Thomas Wentworth Higginson – First published 1865