Should I friend my mom?

My mom sent me a "friend" request on Facebook the other day.

I haven’t accepted it yet. I don’t know if I should. Of course I like my mom, and I enjoy the fact that she’s so computer savvy – but should I accept her as a "friend"?

I find that particularly with Facebook (of all the social networking sites), it’s hard to keep things business-oriented. Even if you have a “Fan Page” for your business, you still need to have a personal page, where if you friend your Mom -- she can post your baby pictures and write Mom-like things. The same goes for friends and other non-business acquaintances.

It’s not that I’m opposed to having some things of a personal nature on my Facebook site, but where do you draw the line? What do you think?

(Mom, if you're reading this, feel free to comment.)

Comments

[Paul Rudolph]

Yes, you should friend your mom! She's a fantastic support and friend, I suspect. . .what could you or a friend possibly say that she hasn't heard before?!?

[denise lee yohn]

just wait until your mother-in-law tries to friend you! it happened to me -- what am i going to do? ignore?! d

[TurtleBlueBird]

A lot depends on your relationship with your mother.

If you truly a-r-e friends, then friend her.

If - for any reason, and there are many possible ones! - if you're not friends, then don't.

(Some adults are friends with their parents and parents with their kids. For many folks, it just not that kind of relationship.)

(Another good reason not to be on Facebook -having to deal with friending/unfriending. The best reason being not having the time.)

(Let us know what you decide, won't you?)

[Stacey Morris]

The big picture issue is has anyone EVER (outside of Fan Pages, which were created to deal with this very issue) been able to use Facebook exclusively for business?

Really, who can resist reconnecting with forgotten pals from kindergarten?

I've given up micro-filtering "friends". Now, if I even remember their name I'll probably concede to a request, and allow any deep dark secrets to reveal themselves...

There are other online networking sites we can use for biz.

So sure, friend your mother.

[Julie W]

I totally understand. Whether it's mom, some random relative or even certain friends it can be a delicate issue "to friend or not." Facebook has caused me to reexamine some of my relationships at a deeper level. I know you can select who you want to see things, but in reality, anything you put on a social media site is public and fair game regardless of your privacy settings. People talk and share information so easily now, that we all live in a fishbowl. It is getting harder and harder to have any privacy or "secrets."

[TurtleBlueBird]

To clarify what I said above - the "best" reason for me not to be on Facebook is that I feel like I spend way too much time at the virtual water cooler already and I'm making a real effort to spend my (precious & few) waking moments otherwise.

Facebook sounds like a lot of fun, and I have the feeling it would be too alluring for me.

(Side benefits include being able to remember my childhood friends in misty memory and having a couple of secrets!)

[Jonathan Cleveland]

Of course you should friend your mom! It's a win-win since you can "friend" her and then go to you options and "hide" comments from her.. so you don't have to listen to her or know what she is up to. :-)

[TurtleBlueBird]

That does raise a whole other level of questions, Ilise ... including do you r-e-a-l-l-y want to know what your mother is up to?

(P.S. Some folks with toxic parents have learned to be very wary of "friending" them, online or off! Count yourselves lucky, people with parents who are good, healthy human beings. Call those parents and give them a big "phone hug" today!)

[Jezra Kaye]

Friend away. You can always block her from certain areas of your site if they're too delicate. :-)

[Oni]

I intentionally put business second on fb. I want to be on there to share, meet people and reconnect with people. I have been friended by some colleagues and I occasionally share photos from shoots, and enjoy the comments. There is one person who is constantly putting up photos (all with long written disclaimers not to copy)and advertising her businesses. It gets old and it is not on her business page but her personal page.

[Cathy]

I would not friend my mom because for anything I post from that moment on I would have to mind my manners and think before I speak, which would seriously disrupt my creative process and who would want that.

[maureen benun]

I think it's fine not to friend your mom.

Mom's need to understand that we all need boundries.
Each person knows which boundries are important to them.

[Lisa Youngdahl]

I entered Facebook planning on using it to promote my business. Old high school, college friends and relatives found me, and I wouldn't miss renewing those friendships for anything.

However, I have found it necessary to take myself offline during the day so I don't waste valuable work time involved in a chat!

[TurtleBlueBird]

Maureen Benun sounds like a very wise woman, Ilise!

[Stephanie Sharp]

This is one of the reasons I'm not on FaceBook though I'm on several other social sites. I want to keep business business and personal relationships personal. And I want to keep my secrets! :)