Networking – what not to do.

Last night I went to a networking event/anniversary party for BlankSpaces here in Los Angeles. BlankSpaces is a collaborative, shared work space where freelancers and other entrepreneurs can rent office space by the hour, week or month. And last night they celebrated their one-year anniversary.

The party was hopping with people. The line outside the building seemed like it was an exclusive LA club. Took about 20 minutes just to get into the building. Inside, it was crowded and loud but nevertheless, the extrovert in me was eager to meet people and network.

I got a drink at the bar and started to walk around in hopes I’ll run into someone I know. No familiar face in sight. I kept mingling and it took no time before I started a conversation with a graphic designer, followed by a wine distributor, followed by a photographer. With each of them I spent about 15 minutes chatting. And that’s about all I could take.

All three had one thing in common. They didn’t stop talking about themselves. They kept telling me about what they are doing and what they’ve accomplished. It was a “Me! Me! Me! fest”. Not even once did they stop and ask me a question. Not once did they bother finding something in common we can discuss. I was completely bored and couldn’t wait to get away from the conversation.

The key to meeting people at networking events is to make a connection, not to tell your life story. Not so much to sell.  Making a connection means we find something in common. It’s about showing the other person you just met that you are interested in them. 

Next time you’re at a networking event, don’t make the mistake these folks did. Don’t focus so much about yourself. When you meet someone new - show interest. Ask questions.  Engage them in a conversation about a topic other than you. Let them experience your personality, your humor, your charm.   

The three people I met could have been interesting prospects. A friendship may have started. I could have thought about leads to send their ways. But their self-absorbed conversation didn’t make me move towards any of that. And that’s too bad.

Comments

[Nicole Feliciano]

Excellent point. You always learn more from listening.

[TurtleBlueBird]

A "Me! Me! Me! fest" - beautifully put!

[lidia varesco design]

I agree. As I've recently started hosting local networking events in Chicago with a fellow small biz owner-friend, I've realized how important it is to listen. Not only to see how we can help each other or work together, but also to see what they may have in common with other attendees and to help create connections. Actually, that has been the fun part of hosting events!