Breaking up is hard to do

A lady with an ugly hat cut me in line at the store. The cashier said “next” and up she went. She knew I was there. I was high on gym endorphins so I just let it slide. I’m trying to mellow.

All I could think was, at least I don’t have to work with her. Then I got happy about my job because unlike corporate employment, I get to choose who I work with. And I love that—because I work with some amazing people.

Not only are they amazing, but they are truly driven, and that makes my job much easier. They are working towards their goals, and I get to work with them—to help them achieve those goals.

A few weeks ago, a friend recommended a client to me. Let’s call this client Mary. Mary is a very nice person, but it didn’t take long to realize that she wants magic to happen. Sadly, I can’t make magic happen—especially if Mary isn’t willing to work for it herself.

She wants it, but she doesn’t want to work for it—and there’s a BIG difference.

Accordingly, I feel like any work I do is equivalent to beating my head against a brick wall. I suppose I could just mind my business and do the work. But I can’t help but become invested in the success of the people I work with. I work hard, and I don’t want my hard work to be wasted. I want them to succeed, and I know that in order for them to succeed, I can’t be the only one trying.

Mary is a very nice person. I just can’t deal with her Merlin the Magician business style. I can feel her lack of commitment and desire for the easy way out, and the aggravation factor is not worth it.

Have all of my really great clients spoiled me by being so committed to their businesses? Or are my instincts right? I think it’s time for my first business break up.

I feel like I’m 18 again. I broke up with Billy because he liked to drink until he couldn’t stand up and pee in public places. I told him, “We just don’t want the same things.” And that’s how I feel about Mary. We just don’t want the same things. She’s flaky, and she wants miracles without putting in any work, and I want clients who know what they want, and are truly invested in their businesses.

So here’s the question… how do I break up with her?

Week 9 Recap: I was a giant marketing slacker this week. Yes, I was busy with work, but that is no excuse. I spent a significant amount of time worrying about how much work I had to do. I could have just done the work, and used the time I spent worrying to do my marketing. The good news is, I’m on my way to meeting this month’s goal, which is very exciting. As usual, it’s about balance, and as usual, I’m in pursuit of it.  Please let us know how you're doing. ‘Til next week!

Comments

[Stephanie Jones]

Thanks for sharing! I'm in a similar pickle myself and was just making the decision to "break up" with a client of my own. I am considering telling them that although I think their business is very exciting and will surely be successful, I just don't think we're a good fit. They need someone who can turn around work in very tight timeframes and can change direction quickly, and with my current workload, I just can't provide that service. It's a big of a "it's not you, it's me..." gentle let down break up, but in reality we both know it really is them.

[Jezra Kaye]

Deirdre, do it just like you said:

"Mary, you're a really nice person, but our styles just don't fit."

If you can suggest another resource for her (in music, this would be your "sub"), that's even better--maybe someone who's just starting out and would appreciate a pain-in-the-butt client as a learning experience?

But that's not your responsibility--Mary can find true love (or not) on her own.
Your responsibility is just to be clear and straightforward.

[TurtleBlueBird]

Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't ... perhaps you could have a talk with her and tell her what you need her to do for you to be a good team.

(I've had 50-50 luck with this - I've done it twice, once there was no improvement, the other time the whole situation turned around and we're still working productively together. In that case, it was a hard talk to have, and I put it off forever, but it made all the difference. Good luck with it - it's definitely a s*cky situation to be in.